I’ve been in Vancouver for just over two weeks now. Having completed my two weeks of isolation with no sign of respiratory distress (save for coughing fits induced by huffing my CBD vape pen like my anxious, middle-class life depends on it), I have turned my attention to slowly, begrudgingly making my way back to Manitoba.
A quick search for flights revealed these absolute goddamn bargains:

It’s roughly 24 hours by road.
So, I’m one of those 20-somethings who just never got their license. I sat through hours of don’t-drink-and-drive footage with the bulk of my tenth-grade class in my high school gym, took my written test (which I failed (twice)) and at last, was granted my learner’s permit. Almost ten years ago. It’s probably the single most humiliating tenet of my adult life, so I’m just going to air it out now.
Driving fucking scares me. My very first time behind the wheel, I drove up someone’s LAWN after accidentally hammering the gas instead of the brake, nearly bursting through the powder room or whatever of a nice suburban family’s McMansion like the Kool-Aid man. Then there was the time I was nearly killed when my “designated driver” drove into a stoplight which subsequently dislodged from the pavement and fell onto the roof of the vehicle (He promised not to drink! He never said he wouldn’t do MDMA!) By the time I turned 18, I had essentially decided that driving was not going to be a part of my life. Regardless, I am now inexplicably the proud owner of a (very) used 2012 Dodge Journey.
There are two of us here (don’t worry! I have a supervising driver) and I guess the idea of pouring $1200 between us into the void just felt horrifying considering our current financial state. I have an absolutely stellar driver’s safety rating, meaning a minimal insurance rate, seeing as though I have almost never driven and therefore have not broken any traffic laws. I do need a car, I guess. It’s technically an investment. I also need a license, and probably therapy, but we can deal with that later in the wrong order.
We have four provinces ahead of us. We’ve booked an Airbnb in Kamloops for two nights, after which I’ll let my roommate- who has a relatively normal adult driving history- handle the tricky mountain pass to Canmore where we’ll stop for another night or two. After that, no clue. I’m assuming Saskatchewan will be my jurisdiction since it’s the only route I’m capable of navigating.

Anyways, off we go. I’m thinking we’ll take the drive 4-6 hours per day, because our apartment is sublet until May 1st and we don’t have anywhere to be until then, and probably nowhere to be for 6-8 months after that either.
Stay safe, healthy and far, far away from highway 1. Godspeed.